Twin Tip Tuesdays: Fussy Times

Well helloo there :)

I know I've been awful at tips lately, and tonight isn't going to be much better Im afraid, but I did want to put something up... soo... here goes..

Inevitably, with any baby, there are the crazy, 'fussy times'. BUt with one baby you can typically hold them, rock them carry them around until you make it through to mealtime or naptime or whatever next 'time' helps get them out of their 'fussy funk'. But with TWO it's just a bit harder because you can only carry two in your arms for a very limited amount of time and you literally can't get anything else done while you're doing so. Not very conducive to real life. True, there are times when I do have to simply resort to picking both fussy babies up, holding them on my hips and literally spinning, pacing, bouncing, standing in front of mirrors making googley faces...whatever makes them quiet and happy...JUST to have the sheer bliss of quiet ring through my ears for a few moments. But like I said, that is not ideal! Here are few other ideas we've come up with along the way...



I know it's not quite yet food time, but strip those babies down and strap 'em in their booster seats, cut a huge chunk of cantaloupe or other thick skinned fruit and let them have at it...you have quite a mess to clean up afterward but ahh... the silence :)


This one doesnt work now that they are almost 10 months.. but up until a few months ago... for the really really desperate times, like when Im in Bellybou' and still need the use of my hands a bit... double slingin' it DID seem to work for a bit. Not awesome on the back I'll be honest, but when the crying gets bad enough, I might trade my back for my ears..Im just sayin'...


Atleast our babies seem to love music. So when they were younger we'd put them in the exersaucers and Ryan would just sit and play away. It was glorious, worked every time! Now we just sit them down on the carpet and he plays. It really does keep their attention for a bit and Ryan playing guitar and singing is a MUCH more pleasant noise filling the house.

And speaking of music. This wasn't exactly a 'fussy time' of day, but this is what the twins were doing when I came around the corner this afternoon after having plopped them in our 'caged' living room (more on this genuis-ness in another post!). Thought I'd share, when babies are happy...you let them play (Im not sure my husband would agree seeing as it's his guitar being played by a 9 month old...buuuut, whadya gonna do?) Sorry Honey! :)




re :)

Anyone else have any 'Fussy Time' Tricks...I am ALL ears. (Literally, my ears are begging you...for reals...)

Remembering.

Jenn, who I mentioned a few posts back, took an excerpt from my post and wrote her own on SLO and all it meant to her, you really should just read it, but incase you don't she shared the ways God changed her in college and the unique experience we encountered being a part of SLOcrusade. She talked about the sending ground SLO became for amazing leaders and then she asked us who were also a part of that special time to share our experiences and build a monument of memories declaring what God did in and through us, for His glory.

Well, I was already planning on taking some time to reflect on this very thing as a result of a reunion I just got back from a few weekends ago; celebrating the big 3-0 with my sweet friends (whom you are all about to learn A-LOT about...consider yourselves warned..) And then Erica posted a bunch of old pictures that had me rolling in memories and I just had to steal some and re-post them (See post #2, Thank you E!) and then Jen posed this question and I thought "ALRIGHT ALREADY!" I will post, I will post! :)

So get ready for two posts in a row, Post #1 : What God did in and through me in college...

There are so many memories and lessons that swirl my mind when I picture my Cal Poly and crusade days. My era hit slightly after you Jenn; Crusade was already meeting in The Business Silo and our numbers were somewhere around 300. It was Jayme's first year, Tori, Ken and Christine were right there too, Noah and 'The Captain' were still making us laugh and Joel was still ushering us into heart transforming worship. In the next four years I watched numbers go from 300 to 1100. I watched our campus flood with yellow shirts declaring 'I agree with Jimmy', I watched us fill Chumash auditorium. I attended Barn Bashes and Christmas Conferences ringing in more than one New Year in worship. I learned about leadership and ownership, about courage and compassion, about conviction and what it meant to truly want to give up your life because you knew, just knew how small it was in comparison to the greatness of the One who gave it to you. I saw amazing, life changing things in those years, that have permanently marked my soul with a hunger to see even more, I know the rush of feeling God at work, I know the complete satisfaction of being in His presence. Those years gave me the gift of never, ever having to wonder if God is real, if He is personal. But they also gave me another much more intimate gift that has been woven into the very threads of myself, thoroughly altering who I am at my core.

They gave me GAG.

The name GAG stands for Girls Accountability Group and it was created by silly boys in college to tease us, but it stuck before anyone had a chance to change it. Now, almost 12 years (is that for real?! 12 years!?) post 'GAG branding'; I have to consciously remind myself that it sounds utterly ridiculous when I refer to my college bible study as GAG girls. I promise it was not intended to sound so high school. :) But none the less, GAG began almost in spite of ourselves circa 1998-1999 and amazingly, even though we've been 'scattered across California' friends twice as long as we've been 'chatting in PJ's on your couch-Ill be there in 2 seconds cuz we live down the street' friends, GAG is still very much alive.

Let me start by saying that being with them, is like being with comfort itself. When I'm with them, I become such a fuller version of myself, each one of the 10 bring a different aspect of me up and out of hibernation. I find renewed passion, challenge, joy and conviction packaged neatly with total rest and acceptance. Seriously, it's like snuggling in a pile of warm clean laundry.

I bring all of this up because these girls have taught me what I believe to be one of the most significant practices of my life. Vulnerability. Honesty. Intentional sharing of your truest heart and self. Until college and these girls I remained safely in the facade of my life, and the funny thing is I didn't even know it! But over the years the Lord took this group of young women and He slowly molded, tore away, replaced and pushed us in the direction of intimacy with each other; and miraculously we found ourselves willing to risk and go for it! I don't think any of us knew what God was doing in and amongst us until we were already neck deep in eachother's lives. By then, it was too late to try denying how incredibly refreshing real community is, no matter how much work and intentionality it took.

I think this phenomenon was happening in small groups of friends all over Cal Poly Crusade (and other movements) in the years it exploded and I think it is why that time resonates in all our lives as one that we continue to crave and long to duplicate in our adult lives.

True community is birthed out of a deep sharing of your life and heart.

There is a song by Jennifer Knapp that has always painted this picture so clearly for me. It's called Martyrs and Theives. Here's a bit of the lyrics:

"In the absence of martyrs there's a presence of theives that only want to rob you blind. They steal away any sense of peace, though I'm a king I'm a king on my knees. And I know they are wrong when they say I am strong, as the darkness covers me. So turn on the light and reveal all the glory, I am not afraid, to bare all my weakness, knowing in meekness, I have a kingdom to gain."

These words are so incredibly powerful to me and I feel so deeply passionate about the truth behind them. In the absence of people willing to bare all, to look stupid, to risk vulnerability with the chance that no one will follow... there is this false sense of peace that can render an entire group of friendships totally blind. Even our Bible studies, church groups, best friends and accountability groups can become an absolute sham as we all pretend to be 'kings' and impress each other with our minor issues and struggles...the ones we've measured and feel are safe enough to share. Too often the very groups designed to create community amongst churches become to the tools keeping us at a distance from each other as we 'yes' each other to death, afraid to challenge, speak up, admit or correct.... and so we end up in darkness thinking everyone around us is so strong, and feeling desperate to maintain our own image we've so carefully constructed.

With these girls, and subsequent friendships I've been able to model after them; I live in the light. I am safe and free, I grow and learn and God changes me. I know deep in my soul the truth that we were not meant to walk life alone or in hiding. And I get a glimpse of what He intended all of our relationships to be like. I get a glimpse of what Heaven holds.

THAT is what I learned in SLO.

Part # 2 : Pictures worth a thousand words!

As promised: A journey back in time, courtesy of Erica Ganyo. Enjoy.

The first GAG weekend.

I pretty much can not believe this picture exists, when I saw it I wanted to die laughing. Wow. Who in the world were we? This picture was taken at the Madonna Inn after a catwalk in the dorms and causing a tremendous scene at Guiseppes in Pismo (we all chose to speak in different 'accents' as though we were from different parts of the world, and they were horrible, horrible excuses for accents, our poor waiter - oh my I can not stop laughing right now!). I still have only a handful of memories that can rival the childish fun and spontaneity of that first GAG wknd...guess that's why it's still going 12 years later.


So many nights spent praying at the Mustang on campus. I believe this was right before we all went home for our first summer. Yes folks. I am rocking my GAP overalls. You know you miss the 90's.


Oh my, this whole entire wknd is a little bit of a blur to me. But the intensity on Erica's face is giving me the giggles all over again. We had some amazing dance parties, yes we did.


Speaking of dance parties... oh Colleen, I can't believe this is for real.


The first GAG engagement. I think the room almost exploded from anticipation as we sat at bible study waiting for Colleen to walk through the door. She didn't get two steps in before we clobbered her. Even the air that night was glowing.


GAG Wknd 2002, the last while we all lived in the same town. And a bit of a disaster for me due to some trial runs with birth control and emotions run amuck... too much information? sorry...


Graduation!! And literally the last day we all lived in SLO, cuz I know at least I moved out of our precious 'Grand Ave. house' the very next day.


The first GAG Wedding. And from that day on the fast forward button seems to have gotten permanently stuck. In 8 short years since that weekend in July all 11 of us have walked down aisles towards men we pledged to live out the rest of our lives with. All 11 of us have known the sheer joy and all encompassing love of bringing a child into this world. 22 children in fact. sheesh.


We are blessed. Truly, completely, humbly and magnificently blessed. I am not under any disillusions that the above statements that God has allowed all 11 girlfriends in a group to be able to become wives and mothers together is anything short of a miracle and one not to be taken for granted. I know it is a gift; and I am just so SO grateful.

I will post pictures of our most recent weekend another time. For now, I have no more words.

(shocking I know.)

Summer Camps!!

I'm still here! I really am still here! I just had three packed weekends in a row and now I'm headed in to two weekends here in Bellybou'. The days in between have been a blur so the blog has taken a back seat. I'll try to post about the previous weekends when my brain has time to process better.

For now... a few mini updates:

This week has been fun for us! Macy was invited to do VBS with her sweet friend Olivia, so we signed her up and then we decided to let Carter get some of his energy out at a little 'TOT sports camp'. So they both had morning activities all week (can I get an AMEN to having only two babies for a couple hours in the morning??)

Macy had a blast at her VBS and even got called up on stage to get to be part of the skit. Her teacher (Olivia's mom!) said she was so brave and outgoing! I was super proud of her :)



Carter's camp was so cool, he LOVED it! It was only 45 minutes but each day they played a different sport. Baseball, Soccer, Basketball and Football. They really taught the scope of the game and I loved that he got to really taste what each sport was about. As of now he said Basketball came in first with Soccer and Football close behind. Baseball trailed far behind which gets a gigantic sad face from me (and Im sure my entire family! - Please dad still love my little boy!!) :) But I have a feeling it was due in part to it being the very first day and Carter not quite yet being used to the whole, 'sit and listen to a coach tell you what to do' thing, plus there isn't quite as much running right off the bat!

Thursday was football and I had to be at Bellybou and Ryan had to (stand in line for his new Iphone) ahem, work. So Uncle Clint was so awesome and took him. This was an extra special treat because Uncle Clint pretty much rocks at football. Carter had a blast, and Clint took pictures which were super fun to see! Thanks Clint!!



And for the Twin Tips I've missed posting, here you go: Find activities for all your older kids to do and having twins will all of the sudden become a CAKE WALK. :)

What day is it anyway?

It was really kind of silly for me to try to have a 'Twin Tip ANY specific day' as though I actually even know on most days what specific day of the week it actually IS.

So yes, I missed twin tip TUESDAY, and most often I think I actually end up posting on WEDNESDAY, but if I changed it to Twin Tip Wednesday then you wouldn't see a post pop up until Thursday atleast, so it will stay on Tuesdays and you can just know I'm doing my darndest to get something up sometime during the week, sound good? Awesome :)

But today is far too close to this weekend, and this weekend I am leaving life behind me (except Im bringing the twins with me so I guess not so much, but honestly sometimes having JUST the twins feels like having no kids at all, for reals...but back to my point) I am leaving most of my life behind me and taking a time warp back to spend a weekend with sweet sweet friends as we celebrate our 30th birthdays (although I'll gladly gloat that I will be the LAST of all of them to turn the dreaded 3-0) and enjoy eachother's restful presence. Ah, I can hardly wait. SO I can not think about any actual posts right now, no preplanned 'tip' for you today, sorry. Ill try to get back to you next week.

In the meantime here's the best I can come up with. If you're going to have twins, my advice to you is to have a 5 year old daughter first. If you do not have a five year old daughter and are already pregnant with twins, you should seriously SERIOUSLY consider adopting. Seriously.

Hehe, there ya go. Have a great weekend everyone. I know I will!

Boys.

"If he was agitated or upset, if I put my arm around his shoulders and touched him or tickled or scratched his back or got down on his level and was gentle and loving, he would settle down and respond to my instruction and love. God used this gracious gift to show me that harshness and over-bearing correction was not the way to a child's heart."

I read this somewhere, amidst the hours and hours and hours I somehow collectively pour into reading snippets and articles and chapters and books on this crazy thing called motherhood; and I quickly cut and paste it into a document to save and ponder when I had a quiet moment (Ha! Still waiting for that.. but in the meantime I can write a post with screaming children, eh hem, peacefully playing children, in the background and no one would ever know!)

Oh for the simplicity of my perspective during my first pregnancy and even first child. I think I genuinely believed I was going to be able to maneuver through parenting under one chosen 'philosophy or method' if you will. I don't think I ever ascribed to the idea that there is one way or a best way to parent, but I definitely thought I would pick a style and stick with it and call it good. I naively thought I'd figure out what worked with Macy, record and remember it and then diligently apply the same principles to my subsequent children. (insert hysterical laughter and condescending head shake/eyeroll here)

I try to be an authentic blogger. Cuz I think if we're honest with ourselves, we (the blog world that is) can sometimes turn our blogs into year long, never ending Christmas cards. You know, the kind with the adorably matched family picture; and the letter bragging how everything is dandy and peachy keen and little Suzy is a 4.0 student and little Johnny is an all star athlete and PS we took a super extravagant vacation this year and bought a new car and new house and our new pool is spectacular and we just love love love eachother so much that we never ever fight, or even frown for that matter, and don't you just wish you were us? The end. :)

Okay so Im exagerating, and toootally guilty of the 'trying to coordinate but not oh-so-much that we look like the Flanders' family pictures. So I'm not judging; just making a point that I do want to be real in this here blog o' mine. And not try to only paint perfect pictures.

SO. Here I stand, before you all to proclaim that I may have been a teensy bit prideful after my firstborn and the Lord decided to crush that out of me with dramatic and powerful force (in the form of a three year old boy). Picture the black cloud from LOST, (without all the 'devil incarnate' implications that may hold for you depending on your level of understanding of that show) and there you have a slight picture of the infiltration that occurred in my peaceful home some 3 years ago.

But oh how I love my son.

I love him so much my heart aches and sobs with emotion I don't have words for. And I have scoured the world of 'parenting' seeking wisdom and advice as to how best to teach and train and guide and shape his little self. And I think it's finally sinking in that I will not find it in a book or method passed down from some other parent of some other child. My child is unique, he's one of a kind. And as much as I'd like to read the cliff notes on him and save myself some time and (gasp) failure by taking the answers from the 'teacher's addition' I'm gonna have to grit my teeth and learn him all for myself; seek wisdom yes, but know that ultimately he is going to take an entirely individual and specific to him 'curriculum' (if we're still holding to my muddled analogy). I'll be honest, that scares me. Because it means I have to get really really close to his Maker, the One who designed and made him. He's the only One I can hope to reveal to me what makes my son tick, how he works, what he's afraid of, what he needs from me and why in the world he can be set off so easily. The only One. And if I'm honest, I like talking to people much more sometimes, they give audible answers back, ya know?

And so I continue my journey of imperfect parenting; where every theory and philosophy sounds like it's the piece I've been missing. Where my head spins and my eyes go blurry at how many different opinions and ideas are out there, all of which I think contain bits of brilliance (and bits of sheer lunacy). It can be a defeating place to live, in the midst of this journey. And being a mom to 3 boys, when I so often already feel like such a failure as a mom to one, well it terrifies me.

Today I fought tooth and nail with my 3 year old. And I was every bit the snotty 15 year old as I tried to convey to him just how frustrating and impossible his tantrums make him. I met him in his childishness and let him send me all over the place as I struggled to exhibit the very self control I was demanding he show. Yes, this raising of boys has me scared and feeling like a failure more times than I'd like to admit to the whole wide blogging world. But I am determined to enjoy it, to laugh at the struggles and learn from the flat out failures; to embrace the children I am trying to figure out, to know they are as imperfect as their mama and somehow not let that drive me mad. So when I suddenly came to my senses in the middle of not knowing what to do; I cupped that angry little face in my hands and told him I was being unkind. I scooped my little boy in my arms and his body, once tense and ready for war; melted onto mine as I carried him to his room. I stroked his back while I talked to him about harsh words and building up walls in relationships and obeying and making mistakes and asking forgiveness. It took him until I tucked him in tonight before he would actually say he forgave me, and before he would ask forgiveness himself in a way that I think he actually meant it; but that's not foreign to me. I know that stubborn pride waay too well to not understand why if I'm still learning at 29 how to not making 'winning a fight' my utmost goal, that it's probably going to take him longer than three years.

So much of today went horribly. But I pray portions of it held a small victory.

I am asking God to show me who we are as a family. Me and Ryan as the parents, my kids as four unique individuals, unlike any other four in this entire whole big piece of planet we live on. I haven't figured out much yet; but I'm just trying to pay attention, be intentional and let Him shape it to His perfection. How's that for a 'plan'?

An Update.

(I actually took these the night Jude and Macy got sick, before anything had gone down. Random I know but I was messing around with the camera..anyway, when I went back and saw them I felt I simply had to post the sweet unsuspecting innocents just before life came tumbling down around us)



So last week was not fun, we ended up ducking for cover almost all of it.

After I posted about Jude and my worries at what my lack of a healthy fear of germs may end up causing our family, I went to sleep. For...all of an hour or so before I end up holding Macy's hair back for the rest of the night. She was the next to fall victim to the puking, right smack in the middle of our carpeted hallway (on her way to tell me her tummy hurt). It was very very sad...but atleast the rest of the time she aimed perfectly for the bowl. Sweet thing.

Tuesday, once Ryan got home mid afternoon and I informed him of all the fun he'd missed, I laid low at home with the sickies (Macy and Jude) and Ryan took Carter and Cooper out for most the rest of the day. It was at this point I decided upon my conclusion that sharing spoons does not infact matter one tiny bit. After all, Macy and Jude did not swap spit and they were the two hit...so far.

After an uneventful (in the best way) Tuesday evening and night we thought we were in the clear. All day Wednesday supported our belief that we had gotten off easy, two down and already back up again, the other four doing just fine... That was until we loaded up all kiddos in the car after a Wednesday evening at John's Incredible Pizza. As I buckled Cooper in his seat I looked at his face and just knew it was coming. Vomit. Over and over again filling up his carseat like a faucet fills a sink. We werein the middle of the parking lot. It was a sight to see (and smell)for sure. By the middle of Wednesday night Carter concluded the foursome and then Ryan and I felt unbearably queasy all through Thursday night, heading to bed early with mixing bowls on our nightstands...but we kept our cookies down. :)

And there you have it. The wrap up of a long week that I am glad to have seen close off fairly quickly considering the way winter colds run on and on for months. But the moral of the story (as I'm deciding to see it atleast) is that germs will find you no matter what, so spoon swap away my friends. In my official 'Twin Tip' opinion, it will make no difference :)






See, told you we were feeling better!

(PS - These smiles can be credited to Mr. Carter, who can make his brothers laugh more than anyone else in the world.)